An infinite space of nothingness
“THERE IS NOTHING IN THE DESERT AND NO MAN NEEDS NOTHING…” — Prince Faisal of Lawrence of Arabia
I know, it sound depressing, it sounds like something you don’t want to unfold, something that you don’t want to experience or understand. I wish the same, but the gates of non existence has swallowed me in, and I see no escape, in the time being at least.
But I have to emphasis that it has nothing to do with depression, it’s only an experience that many of us had to go through, or still going at it.
Here I am, floating in the non existence, where no star can be seen in the horizon, aimlessly wandering toward nothing, at the very end of an infinite distance, there’s another infinite distance.
Since I have lots of time to think, I’ve been asking myself: “What’s the purpose of my place here? Am I doomed? What brought me here at the first place? Has life forsaken me? Or the people I loved? Or is it God? God, where are you?”
I sometimes wonder if I have a purpose at the first place, what a simple man can do in such place? Maybe I’m looking at it in the wrong way, maybe I’m supposed to look at what is in the inside.
Gurus and scholars claim that the most challenging uncharted territories are inside the mind and the heart. But I believe it’s the result of a binary thinking: Inside & Outside, Right & Wrong, Good & Evil… You get the point.
But to put it in a simple manner, and to avoid this mental gymnastic. Here I am, floating in an infinite space of nothingness, praying to see a star burst ahead of me, to navigate toward it, maybe it has some answers, maybe it has some rational questions.
Whatever is the outcome, I’m desperately looking for something tangible to reach, to be part of.
